54th Blog - Living in a World - "FUNNY"

वो एक लम्हा बचपन का है याद आज भी,

जब जीने की हर अदा में एक अजीब कशिश थी,

हर रोज देखा करते थे उस आसमान को,

और उस आसमां से भी आगे जाने की ख्वाहिश थी,

 

Sometimes everything seems so messed up that even pretending it is fine does not do the trick anymore. But then out of nothing for a split second everything seems to make perfect sense. The only problem is, “it is only for a split of second.” And then again darkness and denial, pretending that you are fine, fooling the world and yourself.

It is funny how the world believes what you make it believe.
It is surprising that friends can be fooled that easily.
And it is painful when – even though you don’t want anyone to realize you are not alright – nobody actually senses a thing.

Someone once said there are things that we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn. That someone was a wise person. What he (or she) did not mention is that this is a pretty much painful experience. You fight to hold on when all you have to do it to let it go. Either ways it would hurt like hell.

Once again, the world is a very funny place. People are funny here. Thoughts are funny. You can’t help but smile when you think about all those promises that went in vain, all those assurances that you are not alone. Are you not? Seriously? You still smile when you think about those vows made and oaths taken. You know that you smile, don’t you? That hurting bitter smile filled with regrets, disappointments and pain.

We, humans, are really funny. I mean it. Have you ever counted how many of us say how the best things in life are worth waiting for, fighting for, believing in and just never letting go of.

Do you hold on to what you love?
Do you fight for what you think is right?
Do you?

I don’t.
In fact I can’t.
And maybe I don’t want to.
And adding more to that… maybe I even should not.

Because… you know, things change. And no matter how much you wish they could be, they will never be the same. It’s funny that we don’t see it that way. And it’s funny that when we finally see it, nobody else does. And even more funny is that when we see it, when everyone else sees it, when the whole world sees it, it does not matter anymore. You are already bruised, ruined and broken. Nothing can change the fact that everything is messed up more than you can handle.

You might as well again pretend like you are okay. And the world might again as well believe that you are. Funny, huh? But you can’t change the fact that you are not. And you can’t change the fact that it does matter if the world could see that you are not fine, not okay, not happy.

But you will go to sleep as you always do, late in the night. And you will wake up the next morning, putting on the mask. And the world will see the smile and believe you are fine. Can’t see through, can it?

But you know… sometimes everything really "IS" so messed up that even pretending it is fine does not do the trick anymore. And then out of nothing for a split second everything seems to make perfect sense. The only problem is, "it is only for a split of second."

Regards

Dhitendra

Keep Smiling :-)