I
was lying there for a few more minutes before it came to me. "I
do what I'm good at because I know I can do it, What about the things
you can't do…? You fail because you don't think that it's possible
for you to succeed? What drives you should give you strength and
peace. You should find joy in something that challenges your reason
to be. Because if your motivation is strong enough, you'll crush it.
"Failing
scares me. Always. It scares me always and I am unable to run away.”
I said.
"Sometimes,
my friend, failing is not an option, It comes to make you more
powerful. Failing again and again is a process, but getting up always
is called a life, whenever it try to push you back, get stand with
more strength, it will take you forward, you need to only believe.”
He answered.
“Who
are you” I asked.
“I
am an alumni of IIT – B, try to know and heal the pain of other's.”
“You
can get, any job you want, why you choose this.”
“This
satisfy me more.” he answered.
“Why
you feel to discuss with me”.
“A
few year ago, when I was enjoying my life, a person comes, to ask my
purpose and I was speechless. I'm on to search that now, Wherever I
thought to talk a few person who was diluting themselves I thought to
discuss, You are one of them”. He turned to leave that place.
“Thanks
for all your timing, Hope someday we'll meet again.”
“May
be yes, may be not” He smiled and walked away.
It
was dream, or was a reality, but when I think-ed deeply, it was not a
dream, besides it was a reality. At that night when I was good enough
to move, I come out from hospital, I looked at the sky above, me, but
there was only darkness. It was the start of my own mind swallowing
me whole, drowning me in sadness. The silence hurt my ears. I
couldn't recognize the sound of my own voice. Life was passing by,
Time was leaving me behind. I figured I had two options, I could
either lie there, and be swallowed, or get up and start running. If I
was to be swallowed, would I ever be needed? Would I ever find out if
I could succeed? Would it be alright if I gave in, right there and
then, The darkness was all around me now. I watched the depression
continuously come towards me. All my sad memories dragged themselves
forward, desperately trying to hold me back. I know, I understand.
Failing scares me, I should be more scared of what could happen if I
don't try. I need to try my hardest. I need to run faster than I ever
had. I need to live, and dream, and get out of my own hell. I need to
stop digging my own grave.
I
never figured out why he comes in my life, to make me realize
something, was he monk.? Was he my common sense? Was he me? I knew
that I owed him, not for showing me what I needed to see, but making
me realize it myself. I think about up, not a different person. I was
unchanged. I was still scared. I knew I would fail countless times
more. But now I had the strength to get back up myself. I had a
branch to hold onto. I no longer had a grave marked for myself. I
should probably get up from my own illusion of life, I thought, It
occurred to me that I knew I could get up from all my bads, Out of
curiosity, I tried and I'm still trying. Some fine day, I hopefully, I
aimed to UP.
I
wrote this to motivate myself again and again, It gives me at-least liberty to think.
Regards
Dhitnedra
Keep Smiling :-) 
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