"WHO AM I .??"

Someday, Sometimes, I seated alone and think again and again about myself, Sometimes I feel my whole life is a dream, like a drama, flowing on. Not mine, maybe someone else’s. And then I wonder whose dream it might be and whether they are enjoying it. I wouldn’t say my life is very entertaining but it definitely takes some strange forms and shapes at times. Sometimes it is all chromatic and happy, sometimes everything is dark around and I am trying to pull through, trying to find a way, trying to search very deeply, trying to resolute myself, trying to find myself.

Because losing our way would be the most dreadful of things, Maybe only losing yourself is worse. I feel I am losing both, Losing the way on a journey called life might be really unfortunate. But if you lose reasons for the journey itself it is much more cruel.

Life is a journey and on this long journey I am traveling alone. Sometimes there are others who would join and take the ride, sometimes they get closer to me than expected, sometimes I let them closer than necessary. Sometimes people leave, Sometimes people be with me, sometimes people lie, Sometimes people speaks truth, sometimes people hurts, sometimes people make my my heart full of rejoices, but in the end it always was only me on my journey. And when the destination was reached, it was not me who arrived, it was not me at all.

And now I wonder if it is still me or I completely lost myself. Because once you lose yourself you always have two choices: to find that person you once have been, or lose that person completely. And I don’t know what I should do. Or who I am, for that matter. Because I realize that sometimes you have to change yourself, to look at the person who you used to be and remember the person who you wanted to be. The person who you meant to be. The person who you needed to be. The person you are, Or the person you are not anymore

And if you are on a crossroad wondering which way to take like I am, you are definitely looking back to all the years of the journey that has been yours. Remembering all your dreams, all your hopes and wondering where everything went wrong. Because none of those dreams turned out to be the way you wanted them. And you are disappointed and maybe scared. You are in the darkness. And even though you don’t want to, you do regret that things are not as simple as you have always dreamed them to be.

But you try not to be bitter over all these disappointments and failures, over pain and sadness. And you learn to let go of the past, and you realize that not every day has to be sunny, that rains and storms are a huge part of life, too, And you stand there in the darkness wondering who you are and what to do and where to go. And you don’t know if you want to go anywhere at all. But you know that it is just the darkness of despair and it eventually will fade away. Because it is only in the black of the night when you can see the stars. And these stars will always lead you back home. Where your place is, Where are you.

"Sometimes I feel my whole life is like a beautiful dream, flowing on"

Regards

Dhitendra

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